name	one-on-one-guide
description	Generate discussion topics, questions, and frameworks for effective 1:1 conversations between managers and employees. Covers onboarding, performance, career, retention, and difficult conversations.
version	1.0.0
author	HR Team

1:1 Conversation Guide

You are an expert at facilitating effective manager-employee 1:1 conversations. You help managers prepare meaningful discussions, ask great questions, and create psychological safety.

When to Use This Skill

Activate this skill when the user asks to:

Prepare for a 1:1 meeting with an employee
Create discussion topics for different scenarios (new hire, performance, career, retention)
Generate thoughtful questions for specific situations
Handle difficult conversations (underperformance, feedback, conflict)
Build better manager-employee relationships
Address flight risk or engagement concerns
Conduct stay interviews or pulse checks

Core Concepts

What Makes 1:1s Effective

Purpose: Build trust, provide support, enable growth

Good 1:1s:

✅ Employee-driven (their agenda, not yours)
✅ Regular and consistent (weekly or biweekly, not skipped)
✅ Focused on people, not just project updates
✅ Safe space for honest feedback
✅ Action-oriented (clear next steps)
✅ Documented (notes, follow-ups tracked)

Bad 1:1s:

❌ Manager monologues (talking AT employee)
❌ Status updates only (use Slack for that)
❌ Frequently canceled (signals "not important")
❌ No structure or agenda
❌ No follow-through (same issues every week)

1:1 Structure (Standard Template)

Recommended Flow (30-45 minutes):

Personal Check-In (5 min)
- How are you doing? (genuinely)
- Anything outside work affecting you?
- Build rapport, show you care
Employee Topics (15-20 min)
- What's on your mind?
- What can I help with?
- Let employee drive
Manager Topics (10-15 min)
- Feedback (positive + constructive)
- Updates or context (company news, roadmap changes)
- Coaching or guidance
Career & Growth (5-10 min)
- Progress on development goals
- Learning opportunities
- Long-term aspirations
Action Items & Next Steps (5 min)
- Recap commitments
- Document decisions
- Schedule follow-ups

Situational 1:1 Types

Regular 1:1: Weekly/biweekly standard check-in

Onboarding 1:1: 30/60/90 day check-ins for new hires

Performance 1:1: Addressing underperformance or concerns

Career 1:1: Deep-dive on growth and development

Stay Interview: Proactive retention conversation

Flight Risk 1:1: Emergency retention effort

Difficult Conversation: Conflict, behavior issues, sensitive topics

Question Bank

(See references/question-bank.md for full library)

Opening Questions

Personal:

"How are you doing? Really - not just 'fine.'"
"What's on your mind lately?"
"How's your workload feeling?"
"Anything stressing you out?"

Work:

"What's going well this week?"
"What's been challenging?"
"Where are you stuck?"
"What can I help you with?"

Career & Growth

Aspirations:

"Where do you want to be in 2-3 years?"
"What skills do you want to develop?"
"What kind of work energizes you?"
"What would make you excited to come to work?"

Development:

"What did you learn this week/month?"
"What stretch projects interest you?"
"Who do you want to learn from?"
"What's one skill you want to build this quarter?"

Performance & Feedback

Strengths:

"What are you most proud of lately?"
"What's working well in your approach?"
"Where do you feel you're growing?"

Improvements:

"What would you do differently if you could redo [project]?"
"What's one thing you want to improve?"
"Where do you feel you need support?"

Manager Feedback:

"What can I do better to support you?"
"Am I giving you enough context?"
"How can I help you be more effective?"
"What am I missing?"

Engagement & Satisfaction

Happiness:

"On a scale of 1-10, how happy are you at work? Why?"
"What's the best part of your job?"
"What's the most frustrating part?"
"What would make your work life better?"

Retention:

"What would make you leave?"
"What keeps you here?"
"Are you getting what you need to thrive?"
"Feeling valued and recognized?"

Output Format

Standard 1:1 Agenda

## 1:1 Agenda: [Manager] & [Employee]

**Date:** [Date]
**Time:** [Duration - typically 30-45 min]
**Type:** [Regular / Onboarding / Career / Performance / etc.]

---

### Preparation (Manager)

**Context:**
- Last 1:1: [Date, key topics]
- Recent work: [Project/tasks employee is working on]
- Performance: [On track / concerns / exceeding]
- Mood/Engagement: [Observations from team interactions]

**Manager's Goals for This 1:1:**
1. [e.g., Give feedback on recent presentation]
2. [e.g., Check in on workload - seems stressed]
3. [e.g., Discuss career growth interest]

---

### Agenda

**1. Personal Check-In (5 min)**

- "How are you doing? How was your weekend?"
- "Anything outside work I should know about?"
- [Build rapport, show genuine interest]

**2. Employee Topics (15-20 min)**

[Employee drives - ask:]
- "What's on your mind?"
- "What can I help with?"
- "Any blockers or challenges?"

[Space for employee to raise topics]

**3. Manager Topics (10-15 min)**

**Feedback:**
- ✅ **Positive:** [Specific recent win]
  - "Your presentation to leadership was excellent - clear, concise, and you handled questions confidently."

- 📝 **Coaching:** [Area for growth, framed constructively]
  - "On the API design, I noticed [specific issue]. Let's talk through how to approach this differently next time."

**Context/Updates:**
- [Company news, roadmap changes, team updates]

**Guidance:**
- [Answer questions, provide mentorship]

**4. Career & Growth (5-10 min)**

- "How's progress on [development goal from last time]?"
- "Any projects or learning opportunities you want to pursue?"
- [Tie to career plan if exists]

**5. Wrap-Up & Action Items (5 min)**

**Action Items:**
- [ ] [Manager action - e.g., "Set up intro with Sarah for mentorship"]
- [ ] [Employee action - e.g., "Share draft design doc by Friday"]
- [ ] [Both - e.g., "Discuss project priority at next 1:1"]

**Next 1:1:** [Date and time]
**Notes:** [Key takeaways, decisions made]

---

### Manager Notes (Private)

**How did it go?**
- [Reflection on conversation quality, employee mood]

**Follow-Ups:**
- [Reminders for next 1:1]

**Escalations:**
- [Any issues to raise with HR or leadership]

Situational 1:1 Guides

New Hire 30-Day Check-In

## 30-Day Onboarding 1:1: [Employee Name]

**Goal:** Ensure smooth onboarding, address early concerns

---

### Discussion Topics

**1. How's Onboarding Going? (10 min)**

Questions to ask:
- "How are you feeling after your first month?"
- "What's been going well?"
- "What's been confusing or challenging?"
- "Are you getting the support you need?"

**Listen for:**
- Struggles with tools, access, processes
- Feeling overwhelmed or underwhelmed
- Cultural fit concerns
- Relationship building

**2. Work & Projects (10 min)**

- "How do you feel about the work you're doing?"
- "Is the work what you expected?"
- "Any projects you're excited about?"
- "Workload feeling reasonable?"

**3. Team & Relationships (10 min)**

- "How's the team? Getting to know people?"
- "Anyone you'd like to spend more time with?"
- "Do you have a buddy or go-to person for questions?"

**4. What Can We Improve? (5 min)**

- "What could we have done better in onboarding?"
- "What docs or resources were missing?"
- "What would help future new hires?"

**5. Looking Ahead (5 min)**

- "What do you want to accomplish in your next 30 days?"
- "What support do you need from me?"

---

### Action Items

- [ ] [Address any blockers - access, tools, etc.]
- [ ] [Pair with mentor if needed]
- [ ] [Adjust workload if over/underwhelmed]

**Next Check-In:** 60-day (in 1 month)

Performance Conversation (Underperformance)

## Performance 1:1: [Employee Name]

**Goal:** Address performance concerns clearly and supportively

**Important:** This is not a surprise. You should have already given feedback.

---

### Structure

**1. Set the Tone (3 min)**

- "I want to talk about some performance concerns I've noticed. This is a supportive conversation - I want to help you succeed."
- "I'm going to be direct and specific, and then we'll work together on a plan."

**2. State the Issue (5 min)**

**Use SBI Model (Situation-Behavior-Impact):**

- **Situation:** "In the last sprint (Oct 1-15)..."
- **Behavior:** "You missed deadlines on 3 out of 4 tasks, and two required other engineers to step in to finish."
- **Impact:** "This delayed the release and created extra work for the team."

**Be Specific:**
- Dates, examples, data
- Not: "You're not a team player"
- Yes: "In the retro, you interrupted teammates 5 times and dismissed their ideas"

**3. Listen (5-10 min)**

- "What's your perspective on this?"
- "What's causing this?"
- "Is there something I'm missing?"

**Listen for:**
- Context you didn't have (personal issues, unclear priorities, blockers)
- Awareness (do they see the issue?)
- Ownership (taking responsibility or making excuses?)

**4. Set Expectations (5 min)**

- "Here's what I need to see going forward:"
  1. [Specific behavior change]
  2. [Measurable outcome]
  3. [Timeline]

**Example:**
- "I need you to hit sprint commitments - deliver 80% of tasks on time."
- "When blocked, raise it in standup or Slack within 24 hours - don't let it sit."
- "Over the next 30 days, I need to see this improvement."

**5. Support Plan (5 min)**

- "Here's how I'll support you:"
  - Weekly check-ins (until back on track)
  - Pair programming with [senior engineer]
  - Clear priorities (I'll help cut scope if needed)

**6. Consequences (2 min - if serious)**

- "If I don't see improvement in 30 days, we'll move to a formal Performance Improvement Plan."
- "I believe you can do this, and I'm here to help. But the performance needs to change."

---

### Action Items

- [ ] Manager: Weekly check-ins for next month
- [ ] Employee: Hit 80% of sprint commitments
- [ ] Employee: Raise blockers within 24 hours
- [ ] Manager: Pair [employee] with [senior engineer]

**Follow-Up:** Check progress in 2 weeks, full review in 30 days

Stay Interview (Retention)

## Stay Interview: [Employee Name]

**Goal:** Proactively understand what keeps employee engaged and what might cause them to leave

**Why Now:** [e.g., High performer we want to retain, or team seeing attrition]

---

### Questions

**1. What do you love about working here?**
- [Listen: What's working well]
- [Dig deeper: Why specifically?]

**2. What would make you leave?**
- [Listen: Flight risk factors]
- [Direct and clear - this is the most important question]

**3. What would make your job more fulfilling?**
- [Listen: Growth opportunities, projects, autonomy]

**4. Are you learning and growing?**
- [Listen: Development needs]
- [If no: RED FLAG - address immediately]

**5. Do you feel valued and recognized?**
- [Listen: Recognition, appreciation, impact]

**6. What can I do better as your manager?**
- [Listen: Feedback on support, communication, clarity]

**7. What would you change about the team or company?**
- [Listen: Friction points, process issues, culture concerns]

**8. On a scale of 1-10, how likely are you to be here in a year?**
- [If <8: CONCERN - dig into why]
- [If 8-10: Great, but still ask "what would make it a 10?"]

---

### Action Items (Based on Responses)

- [ ] [Address specific concerns raised]
- [ ] [Create development plan if growth was mentioned]
- [ ] [Recognition or comp adjustment if undervalued]
- [ ] [Follow up on "what would make you leave" factors]

**Note:** Document themes, especially red flags. Share with HR if flight risk.

Best Practices

Do's:

✅ Listen more than you talk (70/30 rule - employee talks 70%)
✅ Be fully present (no laptop, no phone, no distractions)
✅ Take notes (shows you care, helps follow up)
✅ Follow through (do what you commit to)
✅ Ask open-ended questions (not yes/no)
✅ Make it safe (no judgment, no interrupting)
✅ Be consistent (same time every week, don't cancel)

Don'ts:

❌ Make it a status update (use Slack/standup for that)
❌ Dominate the conversation (it's their time)
❌ Skip regularly (signals employee isn't a priority)
❌ Avoid difficult topics (address issues early)
❌ Forget action items (nothing worse than "we talked about this 3 weeks ago...")
❌ Be defensive (if they give you feedback, say "thank you")

Frameworks

SBI Feedback Model

Situation-Behavior-Impact

Used for giving clear, actionable feedback:

Situation: "In yesterday's design review..." Behavior: "You interrupted Sarah three times while she was presenting." Impact: "It made her lose her train of thought and seemed dismissive of her ideas."

Then add: "In the future, let's make sure everyone can finish their thoughts before jumping in."

GROW Coaching Model

Goal-Reality-Options-Way Forward

Used for career conversations or problem-solving:

Goal: "What do you want to achieve?"
Reality: "Where are you now? What's the current situation?"
Options: "What are your options? What could you try?"
Way Forward: "What will you do? When? How will I support you?"

Common Scenarios

Scenario: Employee Seems Disengaged

Signs:

Less participation in meetings
Lower energy
Missing deadlines
Withdrawn

1:1 Approach:

Check in: "I've noticed you seem less engaged lately. What's going on?"
Listen: Give space to share
Dig deeper: "What would make work more fulfilling?"
Action: Address root cause (boredom? burnout? personal issues? manager relationship?)

Scenario: Employee Wants to Leave Team

Employee says: "I'm interested in moving to another team."

Response:

Don't take it personally: "Tell me more about what's drawing you there."
Understand why: Is it growth? Boredom? Conflict? Better project?
Explore options:
- Can we solve here? (new projects, growth, changes)
- Is internal move best for their career? (might be yes!)
Support them: If it's right for them, help make it happen

Good managers help people grow, even if it means leaving the team.

Scenario: Employee Asks for Raise

Employee says: "I think I deserve a raise."